It has taken me a while to see the value in the father of cup’s emotional maturity and detachment. Whenever I read advice that suggests taking our emotions out of the situation, I bristle. I have been told I’m too passionate far too often in my life. I’ve been told I’m too sensitive, too emotional, too wishy washy… you know, the typical Piscean hate.
I’ve spent a lot of my spiritual and psychological journey learning to own my passion, love my feelings, nurture my sensitive nature, and revel in my dreaminess. And as I come to know what it feels like to love and defend who I am, I can see the father of cups and his message with greater clarity. I am beginning to see the value in emotional detachment in defending yourself, protecting yourself, and getting through some shitty situations where your emotions will not be valued.
I’ve come to realize that my emotions are precious. My sensitive and empathic nature is a gift. My dreaminess knows reality and keeps me grounded.
For all my co-sensitives out there, you know that these traits are prayed upon, sometimes by the one’s we trust the most. And this is where the emotional maturity and detachment of the father of cups can help us. If we can learn to deal with those who do not deserve our passion or our emotional natures in a dispassionate matter, we are better able to defend our being and wholeness. Those who will not respect and value our emotions do not deserve them. Essentially, we can use detachment to keep the vampires out. Once safe, we can let it all out, of course.
Detachment also allows us to see emotional vampires with a compassion. When they are not able to suck us dry, we can see that they are in need, that they are wounded. But we don’t have to go and join them there in that wounded, dark space. We can offer our hands to help them up, to help them through, but we can no longer sacrifice ourselves to their needs. Our gifts are to be respected, defended, and believed in. We must draw that line of defense.