Eyes

Paige Zaferio told me about a year ago that eyes were my protection symbol. She pointed them out in my jewelry and clothes: my natural taste was consistently drawn to eyes without me even realizing it. And still, it took until recently for me to really integrate and see eyes in my magical and everyday practice. It was during my cleansing and protecting of my old and used Rider-Waite deck that I intuitively visualized an eye melting through the deck to protect and increase divination powers. And in the last week or so, eyes have been coming up for me everywhere, especially in times of need. 

I suppose our tools come to us and made concrete when they are most needed. 

I'm certainly grateful for the synchronicity and lessons from the universe. And I love eyes! They are everywhere, especially in trees 🌲 🙏 👁

Pisces Eclipse Cycle Reflection: Part 1

During this Pisces eclipse cycle, I have been able to do little else but face my fears, work through my shadows, reflect, heal, and evolve. I have been spun through the turbulent waters of transformation and growth to say the least. I am still reeling, reflecting, feeling, thinking, writing, talking about how much has changed within me. It will take time to process it all. Not to mention the recent Libra eclipse cycle (my moon) and the Aquarius eclipse cycle (my rising) that begins in August. 

Through all of this upheaval, I’m grateful for my practice and writing that has documented and helped me through so much of this work. It comes in handy when you need to see how far you’ve come. I wanted to share something from my journal that I wrote in April of last year, in honor of the Oyster card in today’s reading. I hope it resonates with those of you who are doing shadow work.

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Drudging through, pushing forward, yearning as weight is gained and shackles are illuminated: their presence sharp and unyielding. I want to be free. I ache, beg, plead for help, for guidance, for transcendence, for some kind of release. 

My words are stifled, trapped between my soul and my pen, kept captive to the monsters and cowardice that have taken over my mind. Doubt. Fear. Shame. Insecurity. They all come from the mind. The heart is stronger than the brain, I remind myself. Thank goodness for that or how else could humanity be anything but damned? 

I keep moving forward, sometimes blind, sometimes veering off course, but my heart knows freedom, my soul calls for nothing less, while my mind pushes, pulls, stutters, starts, grows, retracts… No wonder the swords are so present in my readings. As my shadows are brought into the light, the more I understand, the more I see, the more I am able to free myself from their bondage and reintegrate. There is such pain to face along the way and oh, the mind is so damn stubborn.

I am coming to understand that it is not our souls nor our hearts that need liberating, but our minds. 

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I’m sure I will have much more to share as I reflect back upon my journey.

Thanks for reading.

Blessed be.

Elements of Resistance: A Tarot Spread

My lovely healers, feelers, rebels, people, and spirits, 

We have a lot of work to do in the name of justice, harmony, and love. It is up to us, collectively, to transform the consciousness of our culture. It is up to us to show people the light. But, I often feel like I have little to no guidance on how, what, and where. I hear the call. It rings so loudly in my ears that sometimes I can barely stand it. I know you all are hearing it too. I see it in your posts, your faces, your words… I can even hear it in your hearts. We are waking up, not to witness the devastation and injustice, but to FIGHT it. 

But we will need help. So, I’ve created a meditation and a tarot spread to help us dive into the nuances of our role in the resistance and revolution. I’ll be offering to do this reading for $35, but of course, you are welcome to do it for yourself on your own. Whether doing it at home or purchasing it from me, I encourage you to listen to my first ever guided meditation before pulling the cards:

After the meditation, lay 6 cards for the following representations:

• The first card represents the strength that already lives within you, the resources and wells of power and courage that you can call upon (and develop further) in these trying times. 
• The second card represents strength to seek out, meaning strength to find in others, to develop within yourself, and to join (group strength). 
• Earthly resistance represents what you can do on the ground, for and through your physical environment.
• Fiery resistance represents where to channel your spirit, your creativity, and your will power.
• Airy resistance represents how to channel your voice/communication and how to direct your mental energies (both in how you talk to yourself and how you think about the world).
• Watery resistance represents how to feel into your resistance, how to channel your intuition, and how to keep your heart strong and cared for. 

I chose to work with the Motherpeace Tarot for this spread because it is the most revolutionary deck I currently own. Motherpeace is full of advice on how to empower yourself, care for others and the planet, and dismantle the patriarchy. 

Strength from within: Ace of Disks

This is only the beginning and I already have so much budding within. I am resourceful, enjoy a certain amount of stability, and am already deeply connected to the planet. I’ve been planting the seeds of environmental resistance within my heart for years now. I know I am ready to risk my life in order to be a part of the resistance. I am willing to drop everything and go when the moment calls. I am also my own boss, which gives me the freedom to act and implement new ideas as they arise. And I am finally putting that pen to paper.

Most importantly, I’m emerging from a time of emotional and spiritual gestation and hermitage. With the strength I’ve gained in tending these parts of myself, I am ready to get to work in the physical realm. I will find strength in new patterns of work, discipline, and passion that are just beginning to form. I will commit to helping them grow. I will find and develop the strength to turn my dreams into reality, to put form to inspiration.

There is a great amount of strength and confidence to be found in getting to work.

Strength to seek: 8 of Wands

Oh man, did I need to hear this! There is strength in quickly taking action and in joining the rapidly growing movements that are already taking action as well. This is a time to take risks, try something new, let the passions fly. Acting on my words, feelings, and fire as they arise will be key in adding to my own strength and hopefully, aiding others. There is great strength and courage to be found in taking initiative. I will also be on the lookout a message or opportunity that could get my ass moving and teach me something about the strength that is already within.  

It certainly doesn’t add to anyone’s feeling of empowerment and courage to do nothing in these times. I won’t feel better or stronger or anything besides hopeless if I don’t take action. Doing something to make a difference, to make my voice heard, will only teach me that I do have power, especially within the collective. There is great strength to find in others and our communities.

Earthly resistance: Shaman of Disks

I never related with the King of Pentacles before conducting this reading, but now I see what a dynamic and beautiful leader he is. I will commit to the path and responsibility that I have to be a part of protecting this earth and the people, plants, creatures, ecosystems within it. I understand that there is abundance and enough resources for all when greed is replaced with pragmatic love of the land and people. I will keep steady through this turmoil. I will keep my sites on moving toward a sustainable and connected culture. I know the spirit has her place in this too.

I will make ecological justice my priority. I will find ways in which I can physically add to the wellbeing of this earth.

Fiery resistance: 10 of Disks

I will find greater inspiration, support, and fuel for my fire within community. None of us are going to make change happen on our own. None of us will be able to keep up the passion to do anything without one another. I must find the right group of people, to find my place of action within the community and add my abundant energy to it. It is no secret that we are inspired by one another. That we are more powerful together. I cannot keep my fire burning alone. If I can’t find the right community of activists for me, then I will have to make my own. Manifesting a new world view won’t happen outside of the collective. Nothing is more powerful than what we can accomplish as a group. AND this country is WAKING up! The time is now!

Airy resistance: Justice

The mind is a battlefield of worry and anxiety for many of us during times of uncertainty (or always: me!). I must stick close to truth and balance in order to keep my mental game from crumbling. I have done a lot to work on my mind these past few years and now is the time to keep it balanced. I will find my role within the whole, I will accept the reality we now face AND the responsibility to act. I will not allow fear or worry to stand in my way.

There is something of divine truth present in the justice card, something that goes beyond any government or manmade idea of law. There are truths that go much deeper than politics and policies. I can hear them. I will speak out, scream out, write out these truths. And I will use my mental energies to fight for justice. Because it is the right mother fucking thing to do. Because without justice, I believe in no laws. I am a rebel my friends. I see no point in being governable for a government of corruption and destruction. I adhere to a deeper idea of justice than the one our laws provide. And that is only becoming increasingly true.

Watery resistance: Son of Cups

And of course, I must tend to my depths. I must take the time to connect with my intuition, creativity, imagination, and romanticism. I have to make time to dream! How else do we dream up a world that doesn’t exist yet? I have to meditate. I have to reflect. It is through this practice that I will be able to bridge my piscean dream world and my intellect so as to manifest my inner wisdom out into the world. I have to make time for poetry, for songs of the heart, for art, for spirit. I must stay connected with my feelings, for they are the leaders of my soul. It is through my unconscious mind that I can hear the truths of divine justice, that I find inspiration and fire to fight.

My sensitivity is a gift, though our culture often tries to tell me it is a detriment. There is a gift in the ability to perceive the hurt and pain of the world, but dream anyway. There are wells of strength in vulnerability and keeping an open heart despite the pain it may cause. My sensitivity has taught me to face pain. It has taught me to let in the light of healing. It absolutely has a place in my resistance.

Conclusion:

With so many disks and only one card representing each of the other elements, I would say most of my work must be done in the material realm and for the earth. The only major arcana is Justice, placed in its own element of air, which places emphasis on communication. Time to speak it, write it, be it. Clearly, I need community. And I may even have to step up and be a leader. We shall see what manifests, but I am certainly willing. I see spirituality deeply rooted in each card and have felt that spirituality will be a major part of this fight. In order to make real, sustainable change, we have to change the way we connect with each other and this planet. Bring it on.

Blessed be.

Crystal Reading with the Animal Spirit Deck ☀

I'm in love and enthralled with the Wild Unknown's Animal Spirit deck. I just threw together this very encouraging reading. I was thinking about each of my crystals: what they speak to, where am I at in this aspect of my life. I drew the two card spread suggested in the guidebook for each crystal and what it represented in my life, the first card representing the path and the second, my obstacle. 

The beautiful, encouraging and healing rose quartz was my first draw. I thought about my path to healing and self love. I focused on the compassion I wish to cultivate, the healing work I do for myself and others, and the love I offer to myself and others. The Tiger asks for us to embrace silence and darkness without fear, for these forces are healing. Cards have been asking me to connect with the night, with the moon, and the darkness since I started studying the tarot. Two years ago I had one of the most vivid dreams I’ve had in my life about a panther whom I thought was coming after my dog, but looked straight into my eyes and told me that it was coming for me. Since that moment, my spiritual practice keeps reminding me of the dark, asking me to open up to it, to sit in it and feel it. Honestly, even after all of my research, effort, and study in  my spiritual path, I still don’t quite grasp what that means. 

Being challenged by the moth card, I realize as I type that my efforts have not been focused enough. I do get distracted easily, even within my passionate practice. There is much to learn and much to study, but I must remind myself of the inspiring wisdom that I can do anything, but I can’t do everything. This path also does not come easily and my frustration with figuring out what the cards want me to do with the darkness for my healing and loving, compassionate nature may not be something easily won. Yet, it is obviously necessary. 

Next, I thought and energized with my amethyst. I thought of both my psychic powers and my substance abuse lately as amethyst understands and aids both. The dolphin, an ever encouraging card, especially for a psychic, represents my path. A strong, healing spiritual practice is absolutely necessary to realize my own power. I have been told many times of the ways that I have inspired people to be better and/or seek a happier life without actually meaning to. I can’t imagine what focused intent and belief in myself and my healing practice with other people would bring to the table. Like the dolphin, I prefer the spiritual realm (Pisces here!), it is the water to my fish. My time away and my reemergence in it have shown me the non negotiable value of spiritual practice in my life. 

My challenge? Get my ass to work, as represented by the bee. Work doesn’t have to be a drag. It can be enjoyable and empowering. It can offer you the strides you need to make what you want in the world happen. I think back to the moth and the way it wants things to just be easier. Easy doesn’t get us to spiritual or material fulfillment. Easy doesn’t help us grow and challenge us to become better. Easy is not the answer. Hard work is necessary to develop my psychic self and spiritual practice. My substance abuse probably comes from the lack of attention spent with the dolphin and bee aspects of my personality.

Emerald speaks to the earthly elements. As I held and communed with this stone, I thought of my health, the state of my home life, and my lack of career. It is the earthly element of alchemy I both struggle with and revere the most. I love nature, this planet, and being alive. On the other hand, the human aspects of living and making money in this world have been a much greater challenge to my psyche. The panther, who I’ve dreamed up and of, reminds me that the havoc that has dominated this part of my life recently is here to push me to be better. I must seek wisdom from the unhappy, uncomfortable state I’ve been in and manifest it into the change I wish to cultivate in my life. The Panther gets rid of the unnecessary: the distractions, the pressures, and ideas that don’t serve me. My self-destructive tendencies have taken their tole and I cannot allow them power any longer. 

To challenge me, the black egg hits home. I must write from my authentic, true self; I must find and vocalize my truth. I know this. I know this so deeply that it is absolutely terrifying to both avoid and to do. I want to write. I want to share my ideas with the world, because I know it may help make the world a better place. Yet, I’m so terrified of the criticism. It’s so much easier to play it safe, to go back to school or get a conventional job. But that isn’t my truth and even in my fear, my truth will not let me settle. I can feel it building, festering, wanting to break free. Damn inhibitions - so unnecessary sometimes (PANTHER POWER - get rid of the unnecessary!!!). 

The next stone I can’t identify. I found it during a surprisingly spiritual trip into the woods in Canyon Creek near my past home in Lebanon. I fell in love with it’s color and shape. I used it to hold down my cards and had to keep it. It was my first trip bringing tarot into nature with me, during which I asked the tarot deck what my purpose with it were. I received the High Priestess and The Lovers. It was such a profound reading that solidified my quest into witchitude. Meditating with this stone I thought of my witchiness and asked the cards about my next direction and role as a witch. 

Again and again, the deck reminds, assures, and pushes my spiritual power. Of course I would receive the crow. How many more validations from the universe do I need to let myself believe whole heartedly in my witchy powers?The crow is a symbol of magic and is an absolute encouragement to keep practicing, a reminder that I have the skills and innate ability. Self-studying is key, as are being healthy and surrounding myself with good people. My challenge is represented by the bear. It is time to wake up from my winter slumber, awaken myself further and transform and give myself the room to dive head first into personal transformation.

Lastly, the blue kyanite embodies the development of intuition, speaking with spirits, and remembering past lives. As I held and breathed with this stone I thought of my tarot reading with Paige. When she read my chart she told me that I was meant to do some work with the dead and with death. This idea frightens me and it may be exactly what the rose quartz part of the reading is asking me to do. I let myself open up to advice in this arena as I pulled the cards. The dragon and the firefly remind me that it is through getting to know and expressing my true self, the self behind the ego, the deeper spiritual part of my soul that this gift will be realized.